It was late Winter of 2004. I was 16 weeks pregnant with my second child. That fateful Wednesday morning, I had a procedure called cerclage (A cerclage is a stitch placed around a pregnant woman’s cervix to prevent it from opening prematurely https://www.obgynofatlanta.com/cerclage).
Pain on Right Quadrant
Hours later, as I was home recovering, I started feeling pain on the right side of my abdomen. At first, it didn’t bother me too much, and I thought it was just because of the cerclage. But, the pain progressed rather quickly from being benign to extreme pain. My husband came home immediately, and he rushed me to the emergency department.
It was approximately 6 pm. The emergency room was packed and very busy. There was no space available, so I was on a gurney waiting at the emergency room’s hallway. As I waited to be seen by the ER doctor, the assistants ordered lab tests, MRI, CT scan, and X-rays. I was in so much pain, so they began giving me pain medication, particularly, morphine.
Finally, at 2 am, an ER Doctor saw me and said, “well, if it talks like a duck, walks like a duck, it is most probably a duck. You have appendicitis.”
I was then scheduled for an appendectomy the following day at 11 a.m.
I Knew Something was Wrong
At around 4 am, I got into a private room and tried to sleep. Sleep didn’t come easily as I “woke” up with excruciating pain. I knew something was wrong. I told the nurse that I think my appendix had just burst. The surgeon and my OB/GYN had to work together since I did not want them to terminate my pregnancy. They then wheeled me to the Operating Room and did the appendectomy.
When I opened my eyes, later on, I realized I was already in the recovery room. I was barely awake, and I overheard the nurses talking about me. I heard the nurse say that the doctor had to leave my abdomen open and unstitched because of possible infection. They were draining the fluid out of my belly and that I will have to stay at the hospital for a few days.
After having been in the recovery room for a few hours, my doctors told me that my condition was stable, but I had to be monitored closely since they left my abdomen unstitched. And, that the fact that I was still pregnant may make my recovery slower than expected.
Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Law. “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” So, it seemed.
Many mishaps happened while I was in the hospital. The doctor said that nothing should be given to me by mouth, but they gave me potassium by mouth. This made me vomit uncontrollably. An inexperienced nurse inserted a thick tube down my nose and into my throat when there was an available thinner tube that she could have used. Another nurse poked me on the wrong vein when drawing blood and left my arm entirely black and blue.
To top it all, on the third day of my hospital stay, my water bag suddenly broke.
I was devastated. I tried not to panic, but inside me, I was already a wreck.
An OB/GYN Specialist told me that although the water bag broke, the water may still replenish and that I can still have my baby. However, I needed to stay at the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy because they have to monitor the baby’s heartbeat closely.
I was in for the long haul. I was only 16 weeks pregnant, and I was ready to do anything to save my baby.
The Bad News
Then, Monday morning came. The OB/GYN Specialist delivered bad news. My water isn’t replenishing. And, since the water isn’t replacing, the baby, if delivered, may have a host of complications, particularly complications with his lungs.
So, I thought, I wasn’t going to be selfish. I wasn’t going to have him live and make him miserable for the rest of his life.
I prayed. I prayed for God to take him. I knew that with God, he would never have to deal with any complications. He will not be miserable. God will heal him and he will be a beautiful, happy, strong, and healthy boy in the arms of God.
I started having contractions that Monday, March 22, 2004. In a span of one hour, my regular OB/GYN gave me a total of three shots to stop the contractions but, it didn’t work. He wanted to provide me with a fourth shot, but I finally told him that I was ready to let my baby go.
They rushed me to the Delivery Room and with a few pushes, I gave birth to my son. Unfortunately, my son didn’t live long enough to open his eyes to have a glimpse of me.
Letting Go
My son. So tiny. So beautiful. He was a small human being with his cute little hands and feet. I thought he looked like my husband. I had so many dreams for him. So many plans. But, God had other plans for him. And, just like that, he was gone.
For a few moments, we said our goodbyes. We grieved as we watched his lifeless body laying on my bosom. We stared at him quietly as we said our prayers. It was a heart-wrenching drama-one where we were the main characters.
Eventually, we had to let him go. Physically.
My baby has gone home to where he truly belongs.
And then, Murphy’s Law was no more.
