October 23, 2017, at approximately 1:30 a.m. I woke up with a pounding heart. So hard that I thought my heart was coming out of my chest. So hard that I could not breathe, my head spinning, and felt like I was having a heart attack. I was so sure I was having a heart attack. My husband, my children, and my stepdaughter woke up and they thought I was just having my usual panic attack but I told them that this was different. It felt different. At first, no one was panicking. I told my husband to call 911 and that I felt like I am about to pass out. So, he did.
Ten minutes later, the paramedics came. They began asking questions about how I am feeling. They started doing the usual stuff–oxygen mask on, check blood pressure which registered high (don’t remember how high), checked my heartbeat which was 160 beats per minute at rest. High and definitely not normal. Then, I was rushed to the nearest Emergency Department.
Cardioversion
At the hospital, my heartbeat was not getting any lower than 160 bpm and so a cardioversion was done. “A cardioversion is a medical procedure that restores a normal heart rhythm in people with certain types of abnormal heartbeats. It is usually done by sending electric shocks to your heart through electrodes placed on your chest.” (www.mayoclinic.org).
Atrial Fibrillation
After the cardioversion, I was told that I have Atrial Fibrillation or AFib. Atrial Fibrillation is a heart condition where the heartbeat is irregular or too fast. It increases the risk of stroke or heart disease if not treated properly. Afib cannot be completely cured. In fact, Afib progresses if not properly controlled by medication or if a catheter ablation (a procedure using radiofrequency energy to destroy a portion of the heart which causes the irregular and fast heartbeat) is not performed.
Life is Over
Hours later, I left the ER confused, shocked, and feeling so helpless. I felt my world crumbling down. What is this? How did I get this? What now? Is my life over?
A series of medical tests and medical consultations were done days and weeks after that. EKG, ECG, Stress Test, blood tests. Day by day, I was getting depressed. Night after night, I was getting more anxious. I could not sleep. I was actually scared to sleep fearing that it will happen all over again. I was so sure my life was over.
Thankfully, my life is not over. After researching this condition and getting into a support group in social media, I realized I am not alone in this battle. There are people like me and some even have it worse than mine. I am definitely not happy with those who have it worse, but I realized that this is a common condition and millions of people have this condition. If other survived it, I knew I can and I will. I cannot let this condition rule and ruin my life.
Mom with a Mission
I am, first and foremost, a mom to two amazing teenage daughters, and a wife to my wonderful husband. These are roles that I take seriously, lovingly, and devotedly. I will not step down from this role or give up. I will continue to be the strong mom that they depend on. I will continue to be the devoted mom who will support them with their endeavors. I will continue to be the backbone who will see them through their adversities.
No Afib, panic attacks, or any other physical or emotional ailments will make me fall apart. I may be that mom with AFib, but I will be that mom who despite AFib will stand tall beside my family. I will be that mom who will continue to foster, tend, and nurture my whole family, especially, my children.
I am a mom with Afib but I will be the mom with indomitable strength and insurmountable love, WITH or WITHOUT AFib!
