If you could turn back time, will you change certain things you have or have not done? Did you regret doing or not doing them?
I have. In my many years of life, I have one too many of these regrets.
The Feeling of Regret
For me, regret means being sorry for certain choices or decisions we have made in the past. Whatever they were, these choices and decisions have given us a feeling of sadness or disappointment. Unfortunately, we cannot undecide what we have already decided on, and we cannot undo what we have already done. The only way to deal with them is to move on and promise ourselves to make better choices in the future or if given a second chance or if the same situation comes our way.
However, there are certain situations that we can no longer change. We have already felt negative emotions in those situations. We have become fearful, hurt, wounded, unhappy. And, although these were our feelings at that moment in time and are long gone, we remember them. And regret them.
Acknowledging Regret
Is it so terrible to regret those decisions we have made in the past? I think not. As a matter of fact, I believe it is helpful to our personal growth to acknowledge our regrets. The choices we made in the past are the reason we are who we are now. Without all those experiences, we would not have developed or matured. Although I do regret the many decisions of my life that ended up with pain, sorrow, and sadness, I do not regret the lessons that came with them.
Regret is part of our maturity. And, with maturity comes wisdom, responsibility, and progress.
My Own Regrets
I go back to my younger years and remember those times I have made bad choices or decisions. Some of them were trivial, and some were more serious. But, they are regrets anyway. Here are some of them:
I regret…
…not having done better in school.
…not traveling more.
…not learning how to play any musical instrument.
…not having continued ballet in my 3rd grade.
…not reading more books.
…not saving money a lot earlier in life.
…not believing in myself that I could have been a better manager at work.
…having been in a relationship with someone who never really loved me (and that I knew he didn’t love me).
…not having had a better relationship with my biological father.
…having had relationships with people who never really valued me.
…not helping enough.
…thinking too much about what others thought about me (‘coz now I know that it didn’t matter).
…not letting go.
Regret Regretting
Most of all…I regret regretting. If I made all the right choices in life, then there is no reason for me to regret. Yet again, if I did make the right choices and didn’t have to feel any regret, then I would not have learned anything.
What about you? What are your regrets? Think about it, why did you make those decisions during that particular time? Remember how you felt when you realized you made those mistakes. Write down your regrets, acknowledge them, pray about them. Then, move on.
Undoing Regret
It’s not wrong to have those regrets. They are what they are. You cannot go back in time and undo them, but it can guide you in the remaining years of your life. To make the best of your experiences in the past so that you can have a better, happier life now and in the future.
